Let’s all just grab a glass of wine for this one.
If you are new around here, once upon a time, I met a guy, I loved that guy, married that guy and thennnnn it didn’t work out with that guy. However, from that guy, I became a mommy and now have the sweetest little boy who is literally my whole world.
Online Dating is… Interesting.
Silly me a little after allowing the ink to dry on those lovely divorce papers, thought I would check out the dating scene. Y’all… dating after divorce with kids is honestly just a comical, stressful, chaotic mess. We are putting that out there loud and clear to kick this off.
I went the online route mostly because ya girl didn’t have the time to be out and about all over town meeting people (more on that in a second). I met a few prospects, and well, it was super awkward.
Netflix and Chill or Netflix and Chill?
Due to my timesharing schedule with my son’s dad, my “free nights” aren’t super ideal for most. I don’t involve Noah in my dating life and do not plan to unless things turn serious. I just believe there is no reason for him to meet someone who I may only see once or twice. As a result, some dates turn into an awkward “this kind of sounds like a booty call, but I swear that isn’t my intention.” If it were a night I had Noah, I would wait for him to go to bed, and then that would open up my “free time” this also meant it was between 9-10 pm.
Everyone knows there is no such thing as an innocent “Netflix and chill” text-even if that is what you really mean.
Mama Ain’t Got No Time For That.
The way my time sharing works is that we have 50/50 custody. I can’t just drop what I am doing to go on a random weekend trip. I balance being a mom, running to all the playdates and activities, work, a blog, writing for several other sources, and owning a photography business. I love my little guy more than literally anyone on the planet. Heck, more than anything at all. As mentioned above, I don’t have a ton of expendable time. We all see that obviously isn’t ideal, but it is real.
No, I Can’t Spend The Day on Your Boat.
Or close down the bar… or probably even meet you for happy hour. I only have Noah half of the week. If I do have him, the LAST thing I want to do is drop $100 on a babysitter to hang out with some guy. And truthfully, if I don’t have him, I am probably working.
And if it is neither one of those, I am probably tired AF and just want to sit on my couch in an oversized t-shirt with a glass of wine and then add a facemask – sexy, right?
I Am Scared.
Noah and I both have easily attaching/addictive personalities. Nothing terrifies my mama heart more than thinking I have found the one and bringing them into our lives, Noah’s life, and then it not working out. I don’t want to see him watch people come in and out of our lives, so I feel like this hesitation stops many potential relationships in their tracks and causes me to be more cautious. In a way, I am thankful because it will mean that I am certain that persons and my values and priorities are in line.
Nevertheless, having that fear in the back of my mind constantly does not make things easy!
Dating after divorce and with kids is not easy y’all.
Trying to juggle a whole other human in addition to your life is a task. If you are a single mama succeeding in this world, send me all the tips. I do not have ANY answers, but I am always here to listen and share my dating fails!