Having a Baby: The Perfect Time is our Time

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The perfect time is our time.

At a young age, motherhood was always something I yearned for. Fast forward at 32, I am a mom of two.

Pursuing My Career

Five years ago, I made the decision that I wanted to pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist. Starting the journey of graduate school was something I embarked on – not only to follow my dreams, but to better the future of my family, overall livelihood, and prove to myself that I can accomplish any goal I set for myself.

On another note, I was also very aware that being a mother was equally important to me as pursuing my career goals.

In 2017, two years into my doctoral program, my husband and I welcomed our firstborn daughter.

Upon realizing I was pregnant, I vividly remember the internet trying to convince me that it was impossible to be a mother and complete graduate school. I ran across articles that described the “perfect time” to start a family after your career is established and you are financially settled.

I remember feeling confused and guilty about planning to get pregnant during such a hectic period of our lives. I mean, who in their right mind would want to start a family during a time when I was completing clinical requirements by working endless hours at a “job” as free labor while simultaneously juggling night classes under a single income?

Well, for my husband Paul and I, it was the perfect time.

Even though it seemed like the world was at odds with our life journey, I wanted it all: a family and a successful academic career. This was my personal version of true fulfillment.

In June 2020, we welcomed our second daughter, Camila.

Along with Camila came the completion of my graduate career. Now, two months later, I am not only a mother of two beautiful girls but also a doctoral graduate.

It’s no secret that life (and motherhood) can be challenging but who says you can’t have it all?

My daughters pushed me to be the best version of myself, both personally and professionally. Would it have been easier to give birth to my daughters once I was “established”? Maybe, but if you ask me, I not only planned to have my daughters at the perfect time and was able to succeed because of their existence.

Motherhood is filled with uncertainty.

So while we can make our heads spin wondering what the perfect nursery, the perfect daycare, the perfect birthday party, or the perfect school is – I have chosen to redefine perfection. Ultimately, it’s not realistic that you can have it all in life or time your life perfectly. However, by constantly modifying my expectations and goals, I can confidently say I have it all and have done it all at our own pace, our own time – the perfect time.