To my incredible children –
As Father’s Day is approaching, I know you are aware of it. I’ve always been grateful school is out by the time this holiday comes because it’s less “in your face.” And I’m thankful for those in your life who have helped you celebrate your grandpa when Father’s are addressed.
I saw your faces the other day as we walked down the card aisle, and we saw the Father’s Day cards. I know how deeply you want to purchase one for a dad.
And there are so many things I want you to understand.
Your pain is real.
I hurt seeing your pain with no solution in sight. As any mother wishes, I wish I could wave a wand and take away the hurt, so I know I haven’t always handled this perfectly. I promise to make sure you feel heard in your pain; I promise to fight for you to know that you matter; I promise to listen.
You are NOT the reason your dad left.
We have had this conversation often, and I know it’s hard for a kid to comprehend adult things. Please remember you are incredible, just the way you are. You did nothing wrong, you are worthy of being loved, and you cannot do something to make a parent leave.
You are not alone.
It may feel like you both are the only ones without a Dad to celebrate this holiday; I want you to know there are so many who are fatherless. This does not take away from the pains you feel, and I want you to understand others know how you feel. There are other kids hurting today because their dad left; they are also longing to call someone “Daddy” or “Dad.”
You are loved.
More than you will ever know. I know nothing I can do will fill the void of not having a Dad. I can only be me, your Mom. Although nothing can replace that in your heart, I know there are so many people around us who love you deeply. We have family and friends who have surrounded us, supported us, and shown us tremendous love that we may not have experienced had our situation looked differently. You both are gifts to me, and I will forever make sure you know how much you matter and how loved you are.
And when you forget these things, I’ll be right there to remind you how amazing you are!
Love, your Mom