To The Mom Who Feels Like She Cannot Get it Together

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To the mom who is doing her very best, and still feels like every day is a mess.

If I could offer you the best products, crafting tips, and parenting hacks, I would.

If I could counsel you on how to get through so many days of isolation with a sparkling clean home and sanity, I would do that.

Instead, I offer you loads of laundry, screaming little ones and burnt toast covered with jelly.

While some days I’m ahead of the game, most days, I’m just trying to figure out which kid is running in what direction. I’m looking for my car keys two minutes before I walk out the door, meal planning right when the kids have to eat, and kicking myself for leaving dinner in the microwave overnight.

And I often wonder why we parents only emphasize the winning mom, the one who gets it all right?

And what happens if you are the mom that gets it all wrong?

Maybe you leave milk in the pantry, clothes in the washer, and can never find your cell phone that’s in your back pocket. Maybe you have poison control on speed dial, or you feel like childproofing is a joke because your kids think they can fly. Or perhaps you go to the store every day because you keep forgetting what to buy, only to realize you left your purse at home.

Whatever your struggle, I say that you need to be embraced too!

Because your faltering memory means you live with kids who don’t think sleep is essential. It means you are the caretaker that doesn’t take a break. You’re running on four hours of sleep at best, with a to-do list so long it’s not worth writing down. You are constantly cooking, sweeping, fixing, picking up, putting down, wiping away, cheering on, and pushing through. Always moving, constantly being.

You put the needs of everyone above yourself. And yet you may still feel like the underdog in the imaginary world of flawless parenthood.

I want to tell you that you are not alone.

Welcome to the planet of frantic mom days. There are many of us here.
You might only feel like you are seen when your kids want something, or noticed on the days they use you as a barf bag.

And you may only feel like you are heard when your voice is the loudest in the room.

But I want to assure you that in our tribe you are heard, you are seen, and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed.

There will always be days when you forget something important because your kids were screaming, fighting, and breaking down so much that it made you break down. When you feel disconnected like nothing is going right and you doubt your ability to get through this. There will also be days where you bond with your children, they laugh at your jokes and listen so well you wonder who they are and where they came from.

You won’t always be the mom who is late for everything or has little to no attention span. One day you will dress up again and take glorious showers that last longer than five minutes.

One day you will be able to look back at all the mayhem and laugh or look at it with gratitude.

In the meantime, as your “momfidant” and friend, I will be here rooting for you. I will not judge. Even when your kids are painting the wall with their spit bubbles, cartwheeling backward off the sofa, or eating handfuls of cereal out of the dustpan and you have no energy to stop them.

  • You must be gracious with yourself because there is a very present mom beneath every epic mom fail and absent-minded moment.
  • You are a loving woman that would do anything for the beautiful souls she is raising.
  • You are worth taking care of, taking time to rest and replenish, so you do not lose sight of who you are.

I will tell you that these times pass by before you know it; however, the memories you make with your children will last a lifetime.

Know This.

I will fight for you, I will write for you, laugh, pray and cry with you.

And perhaps we will make our world a little better by getting through these crazy days together.

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Q Hillman
Q grew up modeling in her hometown of Columbus, Ohio. She moved to Sarasota, Florida nearly a decade ago. She is a stay at home mom with two pre-school aged sons. Faith is a big part of her life and she loves using her personal experiences to encourage and inspire others. As her children have gotten older, she has been on a path of re-discovering herself and her passion for writing. She loves family beach days, taking pictures of nature, meeting new moms and lives for football season!

2 COMMENTS

  1. Such a beautiful and encouraging message! Being connected to other moms is such a God-send, and it’s so easy to isolate during this time. Blessings to your and your family!

  2. Q, No one gets it all right. We are human and we all have those days of forgetting purses. I bet none of us would forget our kid(s)!!!

    I love this post. You are hilarious!

    Sincerely,
    Christine

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